First Monday 2015

New Year’s day was last Thursday, but the luckiest people got that day and Friday off of work, plus the weekend, and are just now facing the reality of a new year:

The First Monday.

Monday 2015

Setting the alarm for an ungodly hour, pulling kids’ covers off of their grumpy bodies, heading back to work after a long stretch off. Making to-do lists and trying to remember where you left off in December.

By 10:00am, do you even remember what your New Year’s resolutions were? To stop eating sugar/caffeine/fat; biting nails; gossiping; complaining.

But I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution this year. I just couldn’t bring myself to–not after 2014. In some ways, 2014 was awesome. I went to counseling, got free from some head-game stuff, got a tattoo, walked away from something unhealthy and started a blog. It also sucked. Some people I looked up to disappointed in big ways, I realized that a 6-year journey was heading nowhere, and I held my nephew in my arms…but he was dead. 2014 was heart wrenching.

It would be nonsense to think 2015 won’t include its share of tears and hurt and heartache. But for that, the laughter and good news wouldn’t be cherished in the same ways. I now know more of who I am, and what my strengths and weaknesses are. I could list them here without flinching, but it’s really only useful information for me. You have your own set of lists. What is important is that we become more of who we are–

–not more of someone else’s highlight reel; not more of who your parents thought you’d be. Just be you in whatever form of awesome you are.

[Which reminds me of the Imagine Dragons song Who We Are. Does your mind skip around like this too?]

So 2015, come on. Bring your first Monday, and your first tear, and your first fall-on-the-floor-laugh. I will scream at my kids to get into the freaking car, probably today, and I will hold them and say I love you.  All the extremes and all the level ground will be there, and in 360 days, we’ll kick this year to the curb and start over again.

It’s a cycle of new and old, starting fresh while knowing the past, and hoping for the future.

Welcome to Monday 2015.

It’s gonna be awesome.